Please be aware that this transcript has been robotically generated (AI) and contains robotic errors.
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Speaker 1 (00:00:00) - Welcome to Uncopyable women in Sales. If you're looking for actionable insights in real world tools to turbocharge your sales starting tomorrow, well, you're in the right place. Your host, Kay Miller, earned the affectionate nickname Muffler Mama when she sold more automotive mufflers than anyone else in the world. In this podcast, Kay will talk to another superstar women in sales as they reveal unstoppable strategies you can use to rack up more leads, snag dream clients, and take your sales numbers through the roof. Stay tuned and get ready to make more sales. And how about this? More money?
Speaker 2 (00:00:39) - Okay. I am excited to be here with Terri Murphy and Terri is a consultant, author, TEDx talk speaker and she has extensive experience as a communication and connection specialist. She's also the founder of the Women's Wisdom Network. Terri, welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:01:04) - I am so glad to be here. Thank you for the invitation.
Speaker 2 (00:01:08) - I met you through my husband, Steve Miller. Not the way he.
Speaker 3 (00:01:12) - Was your husband before.
Speaker 3 (00:01:13) - He was your husband.
Speaker 2 (00:01:15) - Before he was my husband.
Speaker 3 (00:01:17) - I think. So you.
Speaker 2 (00:01:18) - Guys go way back then because way.
Speaker 3 (00:01:20) - Back we we've been married.
Speaker 2 (00:01:22) - We've been married for 36 years, so. Well, I don't know. That might not. I'm. We might have been,.
Speaker 3 (00:01:29) - A couple might be dating.
Speaker 2 (00:01:31) - Yeah, I'm sure we must have been dating at least. So, you know, I mentioned a few of the things that you do and have done, but that just scratches the surface of what you do and who you are. And of course, the full bio will be in the show notes, and I encourage you to check it out., but today we're going to be talking about one of Terry's top specialties, and that is how to build $1 million referral network. How would you like to have $1 million referral network? And as I've been talking with Terry to prepare for this, I mean, she has what what do you say, a Rolodex like no other, right? You've got so many connections that you've made and maintained through the years, which is so impressive.
Speaker 2 (00:02:19) - I'd like you to start off and just tell us a little bit about, you know, how you got started and your journey to where where you are now.
Speaker 3 (00:02:28) - Well, I started in sales in an area that I didn't live in, and I didn't know anybody with the exception of family. And so I had to figure out fairly fast how to develop relationships because I'm not a cold caller. I wasn't the kind of person that was in that mindset, and it was really important to me that people knew that I was sincere. I mean, I had a service that I knew people needed, and I had studied and become as neurotic as I could be about understanding it. And so I wanted to share that, because I've always had a core value of helping other people, which is why I formed the Women's Wisdom Network, which is just women helping women. And,, the point is, is that most people don't understand referrals. They think it's transactional. And it was it was very much transactional. I gave you a card, you gave me a card.
Speaker 3 (00:03:22) - And as my good friend Bob Burg, who's a mutual friend of your husband's and me, when he wrote Endless referrals, we talked about that. You don't you don't take a card unless you're going to do something with it. And here's the gift that we have. You talked about my golden Rolodex, which very few people will remember what a Rolodex was. But if I have a personal connection, for whatever reason, to me that's kind of a pretty amazing thing. I'll even call it a divine connection, because there's a lot of people in the world. But what about you and I? How come in this moment, in this time, and in this demographic, where you're there and I'm here? Do we connect? Generally it's because of relationships. And so we've gone from not being transactional to being relational. And that's the key that makes it different.
Speaker 2 (00:04:10) - Yeah. Like you said, I know that I've been to networking meetings and everyone's just exchanging cards, especially back in the old days. Now, there are all these digital ways.
Speaker 2 (00:04:18) - But then what do you do? You just. You come home and you put them in a pile, and eventually they get recycled or throw it into the trash. Actually, you're meaningless, right?
Speaker 3 (00:04:27) - Your dry cleaner gets all of your leads because they're in your suit. When you go to when you go to get it cleaned. So, you know, Bob taught me early that if you take a card, it you've made a commitment. To do something with it. And one of the key things is that if you're asking for business, it's sort of like asking for a cup of coffee. You know, you might want one now, but you probably don't want one if you've just had 2 or 3. You know, there's a timing device in there and there's a there's a reason for the support. And so instead of just taking the card and putting it in your pocket and saying, oh, I'll get back to you. You know, it's one of those things from Miguel Ruiz on the Four Agreements.
Speaker 3 (00:05:07) - If you take the car and you make a commitment, then you have to be impeccable with your word, which is the first of the four,, agreements. And so I would take the card and write a note. The note was different, though. Instead of writing a note that said, oh, so nice to meet you if I can, you know, if you ever have anybody that needs my services, I'd really appreciate your referral. All about you. No no no no. All about that. So imagine the tone that changes when the note says, hey K, I really appreciated meeting you at the last BNI meeting. I know there's ways for me to leverage my sphere of influence to help support your business. Let me know how to do that and when we can set a time to talk.
Speaker 2 (00:05:48) - Wow, what a huge difference that is,? Because different.
Speaker 3 (00:05:53) - Because people are struggling for voice. You know, you started early in this podcast about my,, my obsession with connection because communication is so fractured.
Speaker 3 (00:06:06) - The average,, the average attention span of an adult today is 8.5 seconds. Every interruption costs you 23 minutes in 17 seconds. Do you think they're going to remember you if if they met 20 people that day? So what does it what does it take to stand out? And when you want to look at a successful building, a successful you called it Rolodex. I'll call it a community. It's about being personal, being relevant and being consistent. This is not about asking you every month. Hey, do you have a referral for me to have a pro for me? But more or less a touch that builds a relationship, that leverages what you do and who you do it for, and them to your sphere of influence. Because target marketing, you know, Jeff Slutsky, one of our former NSA people, would talk about broadcasting versus narrow casting. If I want to support you and I give you referrals and I talk to you about, just as you and I did, about how to leverage this, this beautiful podcast that you do.
Speaker 3 (00:07:04) - How do you do that? Well, you do it with intention and it takes monitoring and measuring. So the one thing we keep missing though, because you talked about it, the digital connection is that, oh yeah, we can pick it up in our phone. That's just terrific. But what happens when it goes into that digital you know deep dive. It never comes to black hole and.
Speaker 2 (00:07:25) - Right. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (00:07:26) - And and so and so what do you do., the personal touch never fails. Ever. Because when somebody gets something handwritten and it's specific to them and it's relevant to them,, and then you collect the information that makes more relevant so you can help support what they do and who they do it for in the event that you have an opportunity to leverage them. We're looking for trust. We're looking for implied endorsement. You know, you go into a strange city and suddenly you need a hairdresser. You want somebody you know is going to make you look good. So where do you go? You go to the people that know that you admire or that you trust and get a referral from them, and then you feel better about making the next step.
Speaker 3 (00:08:08) - Makes sense.
Speaker 2 (00:08:10) - Absolutely. Absolutely. So,, what what do you do if you're networking and you're meeting with someone and you realize that they're not someone that you could help or that you know that that is a fit for you, how do you handle that?
Speaker 3 (00:08:28) - Well, see, I have a little different attitude with that., even if you're a mud wrestler, I'm going to figure at some point. So I'm just going to ask me for a recommendation. I,, there are certain people that belong in your what I call the inner circle, your MVP's, your most valuable people. Those are people that really make a good fit, whether it's a past client, a current client, family friend,, someone you know in your sphere of influence, someone that you use in your day to day life. Those people get treated differently. We call it the MVP's, your most valuable people. And they are generally, we start with 50 people. And I get a lot of pushback on this. Oh, I don't know, 50 people.
Speaker 3 (00:09:08) - Oh yes, you do. Who's your hairdresser? Who's your doctor? Who's you know, who's your favorite?, cool guy? I mean, whatever it is, you've got 50 people that know, like and trust you. And like I said, you're not asking for I personally don't. Some of some of my clients will actually say, you know what? I'd like to put you in my MVP as a referral network. And, you know, of course it's a referral network, but I don't want it to look like I am pandering. But I do want to position myself and my services in the event they know someone, because we know they know at least 250 people or more. They connect with that many people. And sometimes someday someone may need my services. And if they do, I'd like to be one of the people you recommend. Is that okay? Say yes. And then we say, well, what do I have to do to help you? I said, well, you know what, if you have somebody, even one a year, that would be optimum.
Speaker 3 (00:10:00) - One a year. Sure. Now, like I said, you don't need a cup of coffee every minute of the day, but you do want one tomorrow or maybe three months from now. So it's about being top of mind as a resource and as a support to their business as well.
Speaker 2 (00:10:16) - So just like in sales, it's about the customer networking. It's about who you're networking with. It's about them. What's in it for me right. Is the old saying goes. So I love that take on networking., how do you create touch points along the way to stay in touch with your network?
Speaker 3 (00:10:37) - Well, I'm actually I built a program because for me, it was natural. I have an insane curiosity about what makes you happy. And so if you have a dog and it happens to be a doxy, it's National Doxy Day. I'm going to send you something for the dog or drop something off it. Really. I just want you to think personal and relevant and consistent. So we want to take these MVP's and every month touch them in some way.
Speaker 3 (00:11:03) - So it requires getting some personal information. And how do you start. Well you start with saying hey K, you know, I'm updating my, my database here because it's a, you know, beginning of a new year. Lots of things change for people. So, you know, confirm email, mailing address and birthdays. And a lot of people in my age group go, hey, we don't celebrate birthdays anymore. And I say, you know what? That's great. But you know what we like to do? We like to make a donation to your favorite charity. In your name. And so if it's whether it's veterans or women's shelters or pet shelters or kids or education or reading, it makes much more sense to make a donation in their name on their birthday. Makes them look like a hero. Makes you look like you care. So, you know, let's just say you do the the the initial touch and then, you know, you do. Maybe silly. I like doing silly holidays just for fun or something that's relevant.
Speaker 3 (00:11:55) - Like, you know, if it's Veteran's Day and they're a veteran,, their pet, their kids., if you've made a sale,, the anniversary of that sale, there's just so many ways to touch people. And then it's got to be somewhat experiential. So what I find today is a lot of my clients want to use automation. Automation is great, but it's not personal. And when we do our program at Pepperdine, we talk about, do you want a virtual hug or a real one? Real one feels different. So we look at ways to acknowledge for people to be seen, value and heard. Those are my three anchors seen, value and heard. So when you recognize their birthday, when you recognize events in their life, when you have an experiential event. Now, when possible, we have just even smaller annual client event parties where people get together. People are starving for community. If you look at the statistics, we've gotten isolated. Covid didn't help that. And now we're looking at ways to be face to face because there is truly a physiological energy exchange when we're face to face.
Speaker 3 (00:13:00) - Now Zoom's terrific. I mean, that's how you and I connect and you connect to the world. At the end of the day, people want more. And if they know they can trust you, there's no barrier. And so when you put people together and they have a good time or they they come together for a common interest, whether it's helping the kids with school supplies or getting a pie at Thanksgiving or doing a food drive for the community, it gives people a sense of belonging. And that's what we look for.
Speaker 2 (00:13:28) - Right. That's a great point. Whoo hoo! You know, somebody might say, I don't want to celebrate my birthday, but who will turn down a donation to a charity? I mean, everyone would love that.
Speaker 3 (00:13:39) - Their their charity.
Speaker 2 (00:13:41) - The charity of their choice, right?
Speaker 3 (00:13:42) - Yeah, absolutely. And it's not hard if you're thinking. Because, by the way, I'm not the most technological savvy person on the planet, but, you know, you can just literally print up a little card and and if it's a seasonal thing, you can put a seasonal decal on it.
Speaker 3 (00:13:55) - It's really not hard. You know, there's lots of ways not to do things, but there's just when there's a will, there's a way. And and so for me, it's understanding that they love, you know, their dogs or they are passionate about the animal shelter. Then just handle it. That's where they that's where they have their passion and their joy resonate with. That makes more it makes it more personal.
Speaker 1 (00:14:19) - Today's podcast is sponsored by the acclaimed book Unstoppable Sales Secrets How to Create an Unfair Advantage and Outsell Your Competition, by Kay Miller. If you want to make more sales, you need to read this book. We'll even get you started with a free download of the first two chapters. Go to un Copyable sales com slash chapters to grab this offer right now.
Speaker 2 (00:14:45) - Right. And one thing that I have found fascinating, I mean, this has been it's not new anymore, but you can find out so much information online about their interest and what what's important to them, their family., something that that Steve and I do.
Speaker 2 (00:15:01) - We use a company called Send Out Cards. And have you heard of that company, I'm guessing?
Speaker 3 (00:15:06) - Oh, absolutely. Yes.
Speaker 2 (00:15:08) - So you and you will actually get a sample of what I send to each guest on my podcast. And I hate to spoil it, but I'm going to,, I create a collage of all the women who've been on my show so far, and it's getting quite crowded, but I fit you right in there already, and it's orange and a collage. And then a big thank you. And I send a couple brownies. So. So that kind of personal when you're on the on the cover, when you're in the card, it's more meaningful to you. And I've done that also by getting information even on Facebook, like you said, somebody's dog. I love sending pictures of people's dogs to people. They don't throw that away. So. So yeah, something meaningful that connects you with what's important to them. Sounds like the secret sauce.
Speaker 3 (00:16:00) - Yeah. Send out cards does a great job.
Speaker 3 (00:16:02) - One of my one of my clients was at a trade show, and I was on the,, on. Must have been one of my one of my clients. And it was my face on the television. So he took a picture of me on the television at that thing and sent it to me. Of course, I didn't throw it away. It was so innovative. It was so creative. But it was so personal that it made, like I said, you, you just enjoy when somebody celebrates you and and really, that's what you're looking for. Because if they smell commission breath, it's over. Now, not to say that you can't do that for someone. As an example, especially during Covid, some of my most creative clients literally created drive bys to small businesses where they could hand out little things like the popcorn company or the cookie company, so that people got to participate and get out of the house without, you know, worrying about getting ill. But it also gave vision and hope and opportunity to the sphere of influence.
Speaker 3 (00:17:00) - So like I said, some of them can be,, it depends on who's in that list. And one of the common questions is who's on the list? And people say, well, I don't know, 50 people. We say, open up your phone. How many people you know whose names start with K? And all of a sudden there's K. What did she do? How did she do it? What could you do to promote her? You know video. YouTube is still primo, even though TikTok seems to be big. But when you help other people share their message and their services, you're golden. And especially the people who don't are not IBM and don't have $1 million to spend on Super Bowl ads. Your ability to leverage great people to your your own sphere of influence, your your peers, your peeps is what helps them because it's also measured and monitored. So one of my clients. Darling couple gave 11 referrals to their insurance man. 11. Let's just say that was worth only $1,000 each.
Speaker 3 (00:18:06) - I'm just saying this $11,000 you put in his pocket. And I said to my client, so how is that working for you? He goes, what do you mean? I said, well, what does he do? Has he shown you any interest in. You know, referring you. And he said, well, no. I said, well, a couple of questions for that. Did you ask or did you be asked if there's, you know, some barrier in there? So let's just say his wife sold real estate or his wife sold Mary Kate. Guess what? They're going to defer to their own. But good to know that because the people that get in that inner circle get treated differently once a month, face to face, something of value recognition on birthdays or in their their life events and definitely invited to client event parties or client event promotions. Everybody wants to be included. Everybody.
Speaker 2 (00:18:57) - Well, one thing that we've touched on, but you are an unbelievable connector. And from the first time that you and I talked, you had, you know, you couldn't write fast enough all the ideas of people that you could introduce me to, which you already have introduced me to.
Speaker 2 (00:19:17) - I mean, you're obviously now my new best friend, but you you approach it in that way. But of course, you know, this reciprocity is huge, because if you do something nice for me, of course I want to do something nice for you. You've been so wonderful for me,, and wonderful to me that I can't wait to help you. So I think that's that connection doesn't cost you anything, right? Connecting to people.
Speaker 3 (00:19:47) - It really doesn't. And in the case of my guy that gave 11 transactions,, you know, what's what's incredibly valuable is the time and space and, and, you know, a runway that you've developed relationships. And we have this enormous,, incalculable spread now with the internet. The internet's a wonderful thing, but too much information doesn't help you. Specific information is what really when you can drill down to where there's trust and comfort is how you make a decision, because you always make it based on feeling. So yes, of course I would promote something like that.
Speaker 3 (00:20:28) - Women helping women is my core values, so why not? Why not share what your voice will be? What you'll be totally different than mine. So that whole mindset of scarcity goes away because there's just a bigger pie. Yeah, it's not like three slices are gone. And if you do really well, yay! Good., and yes, you do want to you do want to,, have that reciprocity there because you have given somebody lunch, you know, 14 days in a row. And hopefully they want to buy something. You know, children wrote a great book, The Power of Persuasion and Reciprocity is number one. And again, you don't do it for tit for tat, but you want to do it where there's trust and that someone respects what you do well enough to literally share it with their people. Because there's a big trust issue there. You know, you give somebody a contractor that doesn't show up. That works both ways. So,. You know, they do have to be special to be in my MVP.
Speaker 3 (00:21:26) - But at the end of the day, everybody wants some kind of connection. So early in my career, there were women moving into an area where their husbands had jobs, and they went to a job and the kids went to school. So they had a social network and the women were just sitting there. So I started something called the Princess Collection, because my whole life when you said, what do you want to be when you grow up? It would have been fun to have been a princess, and I would invite them to dinner with other women who had just moved in. Well, everybody had the same issues. Where are you getting your hair done? Do you have a good answer? You know, doctor, but where do you get your nails done? I mean, they needed to have connection and it wasn't as easy because they didn't have the implied social circle to do it. So if you're in sales, it beyond your product., what grade book are you reading?, you know, what new product or service did you find that you really love?, how about,, we had a number of women, especially during Covid if you're a wine drinker.
Speaker 3 (00:22:25) - Not that I'm very good at it, but they would they would all do wine and cheese at like 5:00 on Wednesdays. It was just fun. It was all on zoom, of course., because again, people want inclusion. They want that energy that comes from outside of their own vortex. And it doesn't. When you said, well, what if they don't fit?, you know, they may not be fit because they're a butthead. Okay. If they're not into sharing, I don't want them in my group because my group shares and not because they're,, you know, so altruistic, but because it makes sense to help other people. You know, at the end of the day, okay, we're all here in service to each other and to story. I mean, the, you know, the person that sweeps the floor, the the person that turns on the lights, the people that,, you know, do the dishes and restaurants, everybody serves everybody. And all you want to do is elevate how that experience happens to help them be seen, value and heard, and be able to share that with other people.
Speaker 3 (00:23:23) - What's wrong with that one? Help me with that one.
Speaker 2 (00:23:26) - That's right. It's you know, I think about that in sales,, those types of,, connections. It's the right thing to do. But it also,, helps you be more successful. So it really is a win win. You know, it's it makes everybody better, better off. I think it's a win win for everyone.
Speaker 3 (00:23:45) - You know, I just finished a leadership academy,, with 25 very successful people. And I was shocked at how many of them,, although they had heroes, they had people that they absolutely,, you know, you know, in, in New York second would, would promote. But they never showed it. How do you show that?, well, outside of putting together a referral network, depending on what kind of business and sales you're in., how about LinkedIn giving a testimonial? Now, people don't know how to write them. You know, if I say to you, K really like a great testimonial for you, if you really feel comfortable about our program together and you're like, oh, I'd like to do I don't know how to write it.
Speaker 3 (00:24:26) - Of course. How do you say, well, you know just what you just said. How about if I write that back to you and then you tweak it and put it in your own voice? Help people feel comfortable about making decisions. If somebody is hiring you to speak, if somebody is hiring you to do their accounting, help them feel comfortable. And because that social, you know, that social proof is so important and you can do it electronically. Yes., behavioral interviewing, you know, asking people more to give you more around a competency so that you have a better idea of what they can do, and then you can refer them more easily. There's just so many ways to help other people., personal gatherings, small personal gatherings. Ten, you know, if you have 50 people you're touching once a month, you do a gathering with 15 people, you know, twice a month, different group. Just have fun with it again, but make it so that they feel that it's them you're interested in and not what they can do for you.
Speaker 3 (00:25:26) - Makes sense.
Speaker 2 (00:25:27) - And that totally makes sense. And, you know, I think that we have to keep that top of mind because of course, you know, especially maybe as salespeople, for example, we have quotas, we have goals that we need to meet. So of course we need to make our sales. And sometimes I think that we let that cloud our judgment and become the forefront instead of knowing that, hey, if I do these other things well, the things that you're describing, then your success and your sales will happen. So it's it's all part of this,, I don't know, puzzle. It's part of the puzzle.
Speaker 3 (00:26:06) - Well, it's it's actually part of an initiative that says, I value you so much that I want to share you with other people who can value as much. In other words, I want to share the love. Now, you brought up writing handwritten notes., and no disrespect, but if you get a birthday card from your insurance company, you're pretty sure Mr..
Speaker 3 (00:26:26) - Allstate Mr. State Firm did not sign it. So I encourage people to do what you've done with your own logo and your colors, but make it on the, you know, make it so it comes from you and not from the company. Because that sounds solicitous to me. It sounds like pandering. So I've encouraged people with birthday cards,, to do a birthday card, and then if they're going to print their company, it's on the back., we, we do different things for different people. So one of my most successful,, colleagues, when she learned to send out birthday cards, it was nice. They call. Oh, that's so nice. But what she started to do, especially with the grandparents, because you know how annoying they are. They just are so crazy about their grandkids. She put a crisp $1 bill in the kid's birthday cards. And you know, when you're a kid, a dollar. Well, at least when we were kid was and it was brand new.
Speaker 3 (00:27:19) - So it was like really crisp for the adults. She put in plateaus or, you know, a cookie depending on them, a discount for, in one case for a local bakery. Now think about that local bakery struggle because, you know, the big box have have their own thing. So what she did was she got a a ticket that gave them a free cookie or a free something at that bakery. And of course only paid for the ones that got redeemed. Well, what was she doing promoting the bakery? Nobody goes in and buys one cookie like me. You want to buy as many as you can eat in a day. So. But I mean, it's again, there's so many ways to help people penetrate, target, get connected with people who can use them.
Speaker 2 (00:28:09) - Well, I love the way that you're talking about being so creative because, you know, our and copyable framework that we talk about all the time is look at what everyone else is doing and don't do it. Do something different, stand out, be unique.
Speaker 2 (00:28:24) - So those are some great specific examples that people can use. We're we're almost out of time. And I did want to ask you, you had mentioned something that intrigued me., the biggest mistake that most people make when they are trying to successfully network, what would you say that is?
Speaker 3 (00:28:45) - Consistency. They think just because they see them at church or just because they see them, you know, in town, especially small towns, that that's going to work. Remember that there's measuring and monitoring. So again, if I buy you lunch 12 times in a row and you never even return my calls, I'm going to replace you with someone who is. It doesn't mean I'm going to abandon you, but I mean, it's clear that you don't have a way or a support,, a mutual support, and that's okay. But we measure every month. And here's an interesting factor. And by the way, this is so hard for most people. But we ask them,, when we're coaching them to block a given day in a given time to contact like five twice a week, which is ten, which will rotate to almost 50 every week.
Speaker 3 (00:29:36) - , Popeye's face to face birthday cards, calls, video updates, whatever it is., but we measure it and we know that when you've got no when you're, like, into it because it takes a year, give or take. You want to monitor who is who is referred to you, even if it doesn't work out. You know, I refer you a big client and they go a different direction. I still thought of you. So how do you reward them?, in a way. And and here's an interesting little spot. I'm not going to give you a $10 Starbucks card because you gave me a $500,000 client. It's going to have to go further than that. But you measure it, you monitor it, and you know that once you've seen over 60 or 70%, you're going to see referrals roll in. It's a long term. It's not short term. You're looking at relationships one step at a time. You value, you acknowledge. You share the love. That's pretty much how it works.
Speaker 2 (00:30:33) - Well, your long track record of success building businesses, like you said, supporting women, doing so much more. I, like I said, I can't fit it all in in an intro for sure. So I encourage you to look at Terri's bio, because it's just really fun to see all the things that you have done and to be happy for you, for the success that you have well deserved. So,, Terry, I appreciate you so much. Thank you for being on the podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:31:08) - In Italian, we'd say multiplicity being 100% Italian. The pleasure's all mine. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:31:14) - Thanks for listening to this episode of Unstoppable Women in Sales, your source for secrets you can use to make more sales. Check the show notes for links and contact information, and if you enjoyed the podcast, please spread the word by subscribing, sharing and leaving a five star review. You can always learn more by going to Unstoppable Sales Compton cast. Until next time, go out and supercharge your sales like a true unstoppable rockstar.