Speaker 1 (00:00:00) - Welcome to Uncopyable women in Sales. If you're looking for actionable insights in real world tools to turbocharge your sales starting tomorrow, well, you're in the right place. Your host, Kay Miller, earned the affectionate nickname Muffler Mama when she sold more automotive mufflers than anyone else in the world. In this podcast, Kay will talk to another superstar women in sales as they reveal unstoppable strategies you can use to rack up more leads, snag dream clients, and take your sales numbers through the roof. Stay tuned and get ready to make more sales. And how about this more money?
Speaker 2 (00:00:40) - My guest today is Diane DiResta. Diane is the founder and CEO of DiResta Communications. She's the author of Knock Out Presentations How to Deliver Your Message with Power, Punch, and Pizzazz. Diane helps business leaders deliver high stakes presentations, whether one on one on stage or virtually. Diane, welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 3 (00:01:10) - Thanks, K. It's great to be here.
Speaker 2 (00:01:13) - I am so excited to have you because your content is so applicable to the listener.
Speaker 2 (00:01:19) - So you listening out there you are in for a treat. Diane, I met you through my husband, Steve. Yes, you you were very active in the National Speakers Association. Probably still are. But that's where I met you through Steve, because he was as well. And Steve even hired you to help some of his clients. Our clients, I should say, early on in the pandemic, when we were going into the virtual world and we were unprepared. So you gave some great, tips and advice that I still remember that was several years ago made really made an impact on me. And as I as I was saying, I just reviewed your book again, so action packed, so many examples and stories and just really tips doesn't seem like a strong enough word because you offer game changing information. So everyone listening, you need to get Diane's book. Diane, I'd like to start out and have you give us a little bit of your background and how you got to be where you are today.
Speaker 3 (00:02:27) - Well, I started my business. I should say. I started my career as a speech pathologist. So I got my master's at Columbia and worked in the New York City schools for about eight years. I have the scars to prove it. That's why I have long sleeves. No, just kidding, it was great. But at a certain point I didn't see a career path. So I ended up doing stand up training for a private company, and that was my foray into business because they would do onsite workshops and on in person workshops for corporations. Then I worked at Salomon Brothers doing management training, and I was also an AVP assistant vice president at Drexel Burnam into institutional sales and training program. So that meant I would recruit MBAs from the trading floor and we would put them through an ongoing program. Long story short, I liked the work. I liked the pace. I like the money. I did not like the culture of Wall Street. So I left thinking I was going to get a training manager position, and I started freelancing, and I discovered that I liked it.
Speaker 3 (00:03:27) - Two years later, I got an offer and I turned it down because I liked what I was doing. So that's how I got into business, not knowing what I was doing. No training and no business skills. Nothing. But what I did is I leveraged any kind of networks that I had. So when I left a Drexel Burnham, the first person I contacted was the salesperson from Salomon Brothers who used to sell their sales training. And I said, is there a way that I could get in there and start doing sales training? So that's what happened. And so I went in there and they had programs for me three days, three, three days a month. But it was my start. Then I got a break where a company called me in and they needed a full time training manager for six months. So that was great because that gave me solid income and I said, I will do it as long as I have three months off a month to do the other. And so then I finished my contract and they hired me back as a consultant.
Speaker 3 (00:04:25) - So the rest is history. So it's been about networking and relationship building, speaking. But I have a referral business. A lot of people who are in consulting do. And so I nurture those relationships whenever I can.
Speaker 2 (00:04:42) - That's great advice and what a pedigree you have. You know, who would have ever thought that you'd end up where you are today? but yes, I think so.
Speaker 3 (00:04:51) - I didn't think so. I, I it never occurred to me and it kind of evolved and I'm very happy it did. I have not looked back. I've been through. I've been in the business for a very long time. I've been through the highs and lows from corporate layoffs, freezes, nine over 11, 2008, you name it. And at no time did I ever think that I wanted to go back for a job. And I will tell you what helped me to do that. The reason I'm still in business is cash reserves. I always made sure I put enough away and saved so that I had cash reserves, and that's what sustained me, because there were some really tough times, as you well know, during those disasters and economic downturns.
Speaker 3 (00:05:38) - But yet I just didn't have the desire to go get a job. Well, I like what I do.
Speaker 2 (00:05:44) - Your cash reserve comment is applicable because salespeople sometimes we work on commission and we have a huge month and we go buy a boat or something like we should not do that. So yes, you got to play the long game and you have to realize there will be ups and downs and challenges. So you taught in person, you did your your consulting and teaching in person. And I heard you say in one of your interviews that you love that you prefer that you get to connect with the audience. But since Covid, now we are in a hybrid world. So not only are we going to talk about in-person communications, but I'm also the hybrid. I want to talk first of all about why communication is important to salespeople.
Speaker 3 (00:06:37) - I've had people say, I don't do public speaking. Really? Do you leave a voicemail? Do you give updates at a meeting? That's public speaking, but people think it's standing on a stage in front of a hundred people? No, we are we're all public speakers, and I really believe everybody can be effective.
Speaker 3 (00:06:55) - Gifted speakers are born, but effective speakers are made. Anybody can be effective in getting a message from your mind into the minds of the listener. And that's what I focus on. Yes, it takes time and practice, but sometimes it's just little tweaks, and I often give people the confidence by saying nobody has to do a major overhaul or a makeover. It's just little tweaks along the way that make those big impacts. Little things make a big impact.
Speaker 2 (00:07:24) - They really do. I mean, you talk a lot about hand gestures and body language and the fact that when you meet someone, whether online or zoom, they're making a quick judgment. So talk about how can you make a first impression. I know that you talk a lot about different ways, but I'd like to have you pick maybe some of your favorites.
Speaker 3 (00:07:47) - Well, you know, the old research about it takes seven seconds or less to make a first impression. It's probably even shorter than that. But what I tell people in terms of. Virtual or zoom.
Speaker 3 (00:08:00) - It's instantaneous because as soon as you turn on the screen, there you are. So you don't have the opportunity to network a little, or mingle and make small talk like you would before a presentation in a room. It's boom, there you are, and let's go. So stage presence is a little bit different from screen presence. Do you want me to talk a little bit about that?
Speaker 2 (00:08:22) - I would love to have you talk about that.
Speaker 3 (00:08:25) - All right. So one of the things that is important is your staging. So here you'll see I've created my own background and I did this with Canva for free. Very easy. The reason I did this is because it's instant branding. If I don't get a chance to talk in a gallery, at least people get a sense. Oh, communications. Oh, knock out presentations. I think I know what she might do. So it's good branding, but you can blur or you can have a different screen. But here's what's not good. When you're in a hotel or you're in your house and we have beds in the back, that's not a good look.
Speaker 3 (00:09:01) - So you need to be able to have a solid background that supports your brand. That's professional looking. You need better lighting. You need audio. Those are not the things you consider when you're in room in a room. For example, if you're in a conference room, it's overhead lights. You know there's no lighting involved.
Speaker 2 (00:09:21) - But there are no beds. I like that rule. No beds, people.
Speaker 3 (00:09:26) - Well, you know, you think it's funny, but I've seen that it looks terrible. So those are some of the things sound is very important, more so than the lighting on screen and in a room. Usually someone will hand you a microphone and mic you up. Here's what's important. Do you see the distance between my head and my hand or the top? I do.
Speaker 2 (00:09:47) - If you're listening to this because most of you are listening to this podcast, I really encourage you then to go look at the visual because you need to see some of these things with your own eyes. So, so the positioning of where you are is important.
Speaker 2 (00:10:01) - I had a mastermind and one of the guys was at the very bottom of the screen every time.
Speaker 3 (00:10:08) - Yeah, I've seen chins cut off or they're too here. Or the other thing is the cathedral effect, or you have a cathedral ceiling and there's so much space above and it dwarfs you. And I've told people, bring the camera down. And so that staging is very important. You don't want any distractions and, and especially important being centered. Because if you're off to the side of the screen, it's off putting. People feel strange. So keep it centered and then you don't have those distractions. And let me just add one other thing between screen presence and stage presence. Engagement and interaction is important for both. Absolutely nobody wants a talking head, but more critical on a screen, because if you're not engaging them frequently, they're on their phones. So coming up with polls. Guessing games. One of the things that I did, I think I did it with your group, is when we were talking about how to center yourself.
Speaker 3 (00:11:04) - Once I taught them the the skills of how how you should show up on camera. I then opened up the lines and I had each person critique their partner. So I'd say, okay, on my screen I see Kate. Diane, I'd like you to tell Kate I'm sorry. Kay, what you think? Give her some coaching. And it was based on what we learned. So again, that's interaction. People will be engaged.
Speaker 2 (00:11:28) - Right. And when you talk about having other people critique you, you talk about that in your book, but you also talk about recording yourself. And sometimes that's scary. I've talked to speakers who say, oh, I don't even want to watch my speech because it's just so hard. But it's so critical to evaluate yourself. Have other people evaluate yourself, so that you can get better. Right?
Speaker 3 (00:11:55) - That's why you need a coach, because people don't like doing it and they won't do it. So there are two things. When I have been in person, I often in the past, I would have a second person with me, a second instructor, and they would go and look at the coat at the presentation with the instructor, because if you just tell them, go into the separate room and look at it, they don't.
Speaker 3 (00:12:16) - True confession I don't like watching myself on video either, but I do. And the challenge with zoom and I'm going to use zoom generically. I know there's teams and all of the other. Right. WebEx is. But the problem with that is some people don't like seeing themselves, whereas I do, because, oh, a hair is out of place. Let me fix this. Oh, let me center myself so I can see how I'm coming across. So I would say use it for that, use it for the constant monitoring. But when you are on a in a presentation, hit that record button and watch it because it's so important. One of the things I have now, Kay, is I have a speech analytics program, as you see usually up there. And what I do is I take the video and I run it through the AI or the software, and it gives us data. How many words per minute, how many ums were there, wimpy words? How was your vocal intonation? Did you have eye contact? And it'll give you a transcript.
Speaker 3 (00:13:18) - So it's such a cool tool because they get my feedback, but then they get these numbers and these data analytics to take with them. So right now I would say my my business is more virtual than anything else. It works really well with coaching. So I will not travel for coaching anymore. But I do like as you said, I love the energy of a live audience. And so in June I'm going back to Nasdaq and I'm speaking to their women. I just love being in front of a group and having that moment a moment. I do like doing that too on screen, but it's even more potent when you're in a room. Live in.
Speaker 2 (00:13:59) - Person. Exactly. Yeah, it's more a relationship when you're in a room with someone. So as we think about my audience, you as a listener are probably in sales. And I would like to to have you cover some of the things, whether you're in person or you're online, that the listener can use to improve how they come across. Because one of the things I like that you said is appearing confident is huge, and fear is a big issue that my listeners deal with.
Speaker 2 (00:14:32) - And one line I mentioned before we got on that, I love that way that you put this. You say you don't have to be confident to appear confident. And I've always heard, well, you don't have to be confident to act confident. So that was a distinction that I thought you made in a very unique way. So I'd like you to go through a few things that people can do to be better communicator.
Speaker 1 (00:14:56) - Today's podcast is sponsored by the acclaimed book Unstoppable Sales Secrets How to Create an Unfair Advantage and Outsell Your Competition, by Kay Miller. If you want to make more sales, you need to read this book. We'll even get you started with a free download of the first two chapters. Go to UN Copyable sales com slash chapters to grab this offer. Right now.
Speaker 3 (00:15:22) - Here's what I meant by that statement. When you know the skills of confidence because there is a uniform of confidence, there is a look, there's a sound and there's a language of confidence. And most of us would agree when we talk about somebody, oh yeah, that's a confident person.
Speaker 3 (00:15:39) - And if you ask why, they'll say similar things. So here's one tip. Let's say you're standing up in front of a group. Bring your hands up above your waist. Why? Because what we know from body language experts is that anything below midline is weak energy and anything above midline or your waist is powerful energy. So your power space is from your waist to your face. Concentrate your gestures here. So how does that apply? You stand up and as soon as you can, you bring your arms up right away. People perceive you as confident. They don't see your heart racing and beating. It doesn't matter. Don't allow that to fluster you. Feel that. Feel the heartbeat. That's okay. But get into the position of confidence and then what happens over time is you look confident. So they respond to you in that way and they're responding to you in that way. And so you're responding back as if you're confident. So it grows. So that's one thing. here's the main thing though.
Speaker 3 (00:16:41) - If you're extremely nervous, you're self-centered because you're thinking, me, myself and I, oh, I hope I don't trip up. Oh, I hope I don't get brain freeze. Get over. Yourself. It's not about you, it's about them. The audience so come from a place of service. It's not about, oh, I've got to perform. It's how can I make them feel comfortable? How can I say this simply so they understand it come from a place of service and you will lose your self-consciousness. Now, granted, you need the skills. I get it, and that's why when I work with people, we work on two levels mindset and skill set. So first we talk about the mind and what are your limiting beliefs. What are you saying to yourself because you don't want more negativity. So we reframe that. And once you change how you're thinking about something, then we give you the skills. I really believe confidence happens when you know what to do, when you have the skills, and that comes with practice and with knowledge.
Speaker 3 (00:17:44) - So for example, in terms of mindset, somebody might say, I'm a terrible speaker. Well, if you keep saying that, that's what you're going to experience. So how about saying I'm learning to be a good speaker because sometimes your subconscious mind won't accept I'm a great speaker. I'm a confident speaker, but you can say I'm learning to be a confident speaker and just say that. Can I tell you a quick story about that, or do we not have time?
Speaker 2 (00:18:10) - I'd love to hear a quick story. Stories, as you said, are so powerful.
Speaker 3 (00:18:15) - Many years ago as a member of National Speakers Association New York chapter, I volunteered to do a ten minute showcase. After I volunteered, I started to have remorse and regret and I said to my friend, I can't wait til tomorrow's over. I'm a wreck. I'm so sorry, I volunteered. And she said, Diane, don't do that to yourself. You're not nervous. You're energized. So I went home that night and I practiced, and I said, I'm energized.
Speaker 3 (00:18:44) - I'm energized. Went back the next morning. Yes, I had some butterflies, but I gave a good ten minute showcase, and I was energized. Here's what's interesting in terms of neuroscience. The place in the brain for anxiety and excitement is the same. So why turn it into anxiety when you can turn it into excitement? That's what you want. So here's the thing. When you're feeling that adrenaline, that's a good thing. It's like when a woman's in labor and they start to have labor pains. That's a good thing. It means a baby's coming. So when you have anxiety, it means that. And I shouldn't say anxiety. When you have butterflies or adrenaline, it means you're getting ready for a performance. Turn that into excitement.
Speaker 2 (00:19:28) - And it shows that you care more. And I've always appreciated adrenaline because it makes you your best. It's you know, it is. It's a positive thing too. Steve likes to tell a story about Jack Nicklaus. He said, I have butterflies. I've just learned to keep them flying in formation.
Speaker 2 (00:19:47) - I don't know if you've heard that. Solutely.
Speaker 3 (00:19:49) - Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (00:19:50) - So, yes.
Speaker 3 (00:19:51) - So the other thing in terms of sales. So those are some of the things when you walk into a room, very important is to mirror the person, in other words, to enter their energy and to match their energy. So if you see that someone's let's get down to business, then minimize the small talk and get down to business. So that's a listening skill. So we are always energized by people. We're either matching them with our body language, our voice, our tone, the words that we use, the speaking rate. So if I'm talking to a fast talking New Yorker and I'm from Texas and I'm speaking more slowly, I've got to pick it up and vice versa, going someplace else, you may need to slow it down. So it's those kinds of things to tune in, listen, listen with your eyes, listen with your ears, listen with your heart, and start to enter their world.
Speaker 3 (00:20:46) - Because people like people who are most like them. And it shows that you care. As you said, when you take the time to be in their world.
Speaker 2 (00:20:57) - Exactly. I do have a question, because now that I'm 50 episodes into my podcast, sometimes I have someone that is really low energy. And so I, I want to pump it up. But how do you handle that? Because of course, I want to increase the energy. And at the same time, help them to be comfortable and to match them. How would you suggest that you maybe bump up the energy a little bit without going over the top?
Speaker 3 (00:21:28) - Well, the first thing is energy is very important for a guest. You don't want them to be low energy, so you might want to talk to them beforehand and maybe do a practice run, see how what kind of range they have. And a lot of times people don't realize that they have this larger bandwidth and they're just coming from here. So experiment a little bit and then try to ask them things that'll get them excited.
Speaker 3 (00:21:52) - And you can use your voice that way. So tell me okay. What was something that really excited you? What was the ultimate sale that you ever made. You know. And then they can pick up on that a little bit so that that's one quick thing off the top of my head. Well, sometimes they don't realize that they're coming across that way. So giving them some coaching beforehand, a few minutes just, you know, here's the other thing that I know from my media training. Anything that's a television or a platform is an energy reducer. It's an energy drain. So you're going to come across less energetic than you would be in the room. You know how they say you put on weight on a camera? Same thing with energy. It reduces your energy. So that would be a tip to them to say, listen, when you're on a zoom call, your energy is going to be lower than it is the way I experience it. So let's experiment now, and let's just try a few ranges and see how high, how you can go with your energy.
Speaker 3 (00:22:54) - And I might try something like that.
Speaker 2 (00:22:57) - That's that's good advice and helpful for me too. like you said, kind of setting it up beforehand. You want to let them be themselves. In fact, you have a formula. Yam knowing yourself, your audience and your message. So knowing those things ahead of time. So you also want to allow your guest, of course, to be authentic. I want to delve in a little bit. We're zipping through this interview as I knew we would, about language and the power of language that you you had examples in your book. Again, your book is just an excellent tool that covers so many things about communication. examples and stories, exercises. You have YouTube videos that people can watch to really cement this in your brain. but I liked what you said about language that maybe we aren't conscious of saying using weak language. So can you address that?
Speaker 3 (00:23:54) - Yes, language is important and especially for women. Because we don't always come across as confident as we could.
Speaker 3 (00:24:03) - And I call it wimpy words or weak speak. And it sounds like this. Hopefully I've convinced you that you'd like to take a look at this, so perhaps we can get together, because I feel this could be a good idea. It's sort of like what you know in the know. You don't believe it, so why should I believe it? So wimpy words are words that watered down your conviction. So instead, substitute a power word. Don't say. Suggest they recommend. It's not if, it's when or by. It's not feel it's. I'm confident that. So those are the words that you want to use. Now there there's a caveat here I should say disclaimer. When your intention is to persuade, influence, convince, use power words. When you're in a conflict, you want softer language. In the future, you may want to consider would you please turn to page three? That's different, but when you are coming across and you want to have conviction, you need your language to match.
Speaker 3 (00:25:07) - So here's what I've learned. Leaders, especially sales leaders, have one thing in common. All of them do the the most successful. They're in total alignment with their body, their voice and their words. In other words, it's all giving off the same message so you can look like success. You can sound confident. And then if you start to wimp out with your words, it's a disconnect. So vocal, verbal and visual have to all be in sync.
Speaker 2 (00:25:37) - Right. And and as you said, I think women and men are different. And I've had a couple people that I've interviewed that that really don't acknowledge that. But I think about sports, if a woman and a man play basketball and, you know, probably the average man will win, there are differences. But but we as women can, like you said, be more conscious of how we're coming across, how people are seeing us. And of course, people want to buy from someone who's confident. And so it's your job to appear, as you say, confident.
Speaker 2 (00:26:17) - One other thing that I liked that you talked about is not only listening, which I was surprised that you devoted a lot of time to listening because that chapter. Yeah, a full chapter. I think also when we get nervous, we talk fast. And you mentioned that if we are just talking talki talking, we're not giving the listener a chance to absorb what we're saying. So do you have anything any reflections on that?
Speaker 3 (00:26:48) - I certainly do, and if you master nothing else, master the pause. And here's where it's really potent and powerful in sales. When you give a price, guess what happens? Well, you know, we could discount. No. Say your price and get quiet. Let them be the first to respond and then use questioning. But the pause gives them time to reflect. It allows your message to land, and it gives you time to think about what you want to say next. It also is a marker of confidence because very fast talking is staccato. Body language that's on nervousness.
Speaker 3 (00:27:29) - So you want to pause and let the brain have some time to process. Otherwise it's like watching a ticker. Oh my stock. Where is it? It just went by. I missed it. And that's what it's like for the listener. So you don't want to do a data dump. You want to have a conversation. You want to ask questions. You want to listen and you want them talking more than you do. And that means you need to pause. You need to stop talking. At a certain point, the power is really in listening.
Speaker 2 (00:27:57) - That's a huge point because like you said, it's it's uncomfortable until you get used to it. And I know in negotiation also and which sales is like you're saying this is the price. If you feel that space, you don't even know what they're thinking. They might be thinking, oh, that sounds like a great value for our company and well worth the price. And if you start nervously chattering, you can, like they say, buy back the sale.
Speaker 2 (00:28:22) - But that's a discipline. Just like listening is a discipline. And that's another thing that salespeople have challenges with. But I really like how you emphasize that. Pause. It's it's very powerful, you know, and varying your speed, varying your tone, which I have to do that intentionally. Now on this podcast, you said monotone speakers are a great sleep aid. One story that I loved is you talked about practicing when you are presenting to an audience. Instead of letting your eyes flit around the room. And that could apply when you're in a sales position. You say, break the group down into quadrants and spend, you know, a few seconds really looking and connecting with that quadrant. And you said you used either you have friends help you. And when I read that, I thought, I don't know if I have friends that will do that. And you said, well, sometimes I do it with teddy bears. And you said, the only downside is I think my husband thinks I talked to teddy bears.
Speaker 3 (00:29:28) - Well, when I was in my first job, we had to practice eye contact. So I just took my stuffed animals and put them on chairs, and I did that. But here's a difference between stage presence and screen presence. On a screen, you look directly at the lens. I am looking at the lens. I know you're down here. Here's the eye contact, but it doesn't look like an eye connection, does it? So this is why I do this. So we need to think of ourselves as broadcasters. And you're giving a satellite interview. And this way you create that eye connection. So it's not contact. This is contact. I connection, so it's hard. But what you do. Here's how I do it. When I'm speaking, I'm looking at the lens. When you're speaking, I will look down and look at your nonverbals and then I'll come up again. Now in person, it's different because you want that connection with different people. So you choose different people in the room.
Speaker 3 (00:30:23) - You break it down into sections. Let's say you're talking to a boardroom, so you might have thirds or quadrants. And so here's the first person I'm talking talking to you. And now I'm talking to this person over here. And now I'm talking to this person here. But you see where that does not translate on a virtual platform.
Speaker 2 (00:30:43) - And it's hard to look at that little light. I do that too. And and it's hard not to look at the other person. But I'm not talking to you. Really. I'm talking to you who are watching and listening. So you are my audience. And yes, we have challenges with this new world. So I'd like to know, number one, do you have a closing thought? And while you're thinking about that, I do want to encourage you listening to by Diane's book. It is such a great investment, whether you speak to audiences, whether you're in one on one presentations or whether you leave voicemails, this is all going to apply to you. So I will put that link in the show notes.
Speaker 2 (00:31:29) - I will put Diane's contact information. So if you want to get Ahold of her, maybe you want some personal coaching. I guarantee she will rock your world. Okay, that's how I'm going to put you.
Speaker 3 (00:31:42) - And I'm so impressed, Kay, that you you know, you're quoting things from my book. I'm really impressed. So thank you for that. I just want to say one thing about knockout presentations. The highlight leap Year day, February 29th. It was on the billboard of Times Square in New York, so I was very excited about that. But, parting thought is that. It's all about connecting with people. It's the relationship. Have a conversation with the audience. Do not make them the enemy. A lot of times people have an adversarial feeling about an audience like, no, they're with you. They want you to succeed. When you make a mistake, they feel terrible, so don't make them the enemy. Embrace them. And if you're nervous, embrace it. Allow it to happen, and keep going.
Speaker 3 (00:32:29) - Remember, the focus is on them, not on you.
Speaker 2 (00:32:33) - That's an excellent way to close, and you have provided so many very specific and actionable tips, Diane. It's been a delight and I really appreciate you coming on the podcast. So thank you very much.
Speaker 3 (00:32:49) - Thanks for having me, Kay. Really enjoyed our time together.
Speaker 1 (00:32:54) - Thanks for listening to this episode of Unstoppable Women in Sales, your source for secrets you can use to make more sales. Check the show notes for links and contact information, and if you enjoyed the podcast, please spread the word by subscribing, sharing and leaving a five star review. You can always learn more by going to UN Copyable sales company cast. Until next time, go out and supercharge your sales like a true unstoppable rockstar.