Episode 99 | How to Create Infinite Influence in Business - Alyson Van Hooser

In this episode I chat it up with the incredible Alyson Van Hooser, author of Infinite Influence and Level Up, and co-author of Accelerate Your Success. Alyson had a challenging and unstable childhood (she has both poignant and entertaining stories). Despite all of that, she's risen to success as a speaker and author, shaping her past challenges into a rock-solid leadership approach. Her infectious enthusiasm for influencing (not manipulating) others - will draw you in.  Alyson's husband once said Alyson is the "most empathetic person I've ever met."  Use Alyson's advice to achieve Infinite Influence through meaningful connections and empathy. 

About Alyson:
Alyson Van Hooser is the CEO of Van Hooser Leadership, Inc., on a sold-out mission to develop highly effective leaders who can communicate, influence, and inspire positive change for their teams and customers. As a leadership authority, keynote speaker, and three-time author, Alyson channels her diverse life experiences into a passion for guiding others to recognize the profound impact of intentional service.

Contact/Follow Alyson:

linkedin.com/in/alysonvanhooser

Websites
vanhooser.com

YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/@vanhooser-leadership

Books
Infinite Influence

Level Up

Accelerate Your Success
(Co-authored with Phillip Van Hooser)

Kay Miller interviews women in sales with proven track records, as they share their experiences, success strategies and tools you can use to crush your sales goals. Kay has a history of sales success, earning the nickname “Muffler Mama” when she sold more automotive mufflers than anyone in the world. Kay and her guests deliver actionable insights and real-world tools that will help you overcome obstacles, adopt a winning mindset, and maximize your sales results.

Kay is the author of the book, Uncopyable Sales Secrets – How to Create an Unfair Advantage and Outsell the Competition. Go to Amazon.com and search “Uncopyable Sales Secrets” to order the book, or click the link below.

Contact:
kay@uncopyablesales.com
linkedin.com/in/millerkay
Order Uncopyable Sales Secrets: amzn.to/35dGlYZ

Transcript

Intro  
Welcome to Uncopyable Women in Business. I'm your host, Kay Miller, also known as Muffler Mama. Stay tuned as I, along with my guests, give you marketing, sales, and personal branding strategies that will give you an unstoppable advantage.

Kay Miller 00:00:20  
Today, I am here with Alyson Van Hooser, who is an inspirational speaker on leading the future of work and the author of *Infinite Influence* and *Level Up.* Alyson, welcome to the podcast.

Alyson Van Hooser 00:00:35  
Thank you so much, Kay. I'm looking forward to digging into our topic today.

Kay Miller 00:00:40  
I have to mention, we are both Sound Wisdom authors, and we did get to meet in person a couple of years ago. And you are a pistol, girl. What can I say? You are on a mission to empower leaders to succeed, especially in the complex post-pandemic workforce. One thing you have going for you is an interesting and challenging background. As we talked about right before we went on, some people use challenges as excuses not to do things, and others, like you, take them as inspiration to change the world.

Kay Miller 00:01:24  
And that's exactly what you are doing and have done. You’ve been in management roles at Walmart, leadership positions in the financial industry, a City Council member—the list goes on. And you're just barely 30.

Alyson Van Hooser 00:01:42  
A lot behind, almost closer to 40 now, Kay. But I really appreciate all those kind comments.

Kay Miller 00:01:47  
Yes, you’re closer to 30, that’s what I’m going to say. I'd love for you to share, first of all, with my listeners about your background and what you've had to overcome and achieve.

Alyson Van Hooser 00:02:02  
I think it’s interesting that you bring up my background first because it’s largely because of my background that I’m here today. I’ve been with my husband since I was 16, and early on, his family welcomed me as their own. Over the years, my father-in-law, who is now my business partner, would tell me he thought I had a story that could help people. I think his words affected me deeply, which is why I pursued things like running for City Council. But when I finished my term, I was at a crossroads. At 28, with three kids, a full-time job in finance, and all my community volunteering, I had to decide whether to dive into politics or fully commit to my career.

Alyson Van Hooser 00:03:38  
I reached out to Phil, who has been a father figure to me since I was young. I remember coming home one day when I was 13 to find my dad, brother, and sister had left, and I was alone. That became the story of my childhood. So at that critical moment in my life, I asked Phil what I should do next. And he simply said, "Alyson, I think you were meant to do this work." I’d heard that before, but it hit differently. It felt like a message that my experiences were not just for me—they could help others who might be going through similar struggles. That was the start of my journey to find my purpose, which I feel I'm walking in now.

Kay Miller 00:05:36  
Absolutely. And I do recommend that everyone buys Alyson’s most recent book, *Infinite Influence,* where she shares more about her story. You also have *Level Up,* your first book. You’ve been served an interesting deck of cards through life, especially with meeting Joe’s father, who is a Hall of Fame speaker and such a positive influence. 

Alyson Van Hooser 00:06:19  
That’s absolutely true, Kay. I’d say that if we all take the time to look around at who we know and what we’ve been through, we can gain insight into what to do next. And growing up the way I did, I didn’t have a silver spoon—I had to fight for everything. Meeting Joe in high school, and his father taking me under his wing, gave me opportunities that I don’t take for granted. It’s why I’m so involved with the National Speakers Association and doing everything I can to give back.

Kay Miller 00:07:20  
You have such a great personality for this—you’re so positive, genuine, and authentic. We talked a little about personal branding, especially since Steve and I co-wrote a book on it. If anyone listening thinks Alyson is just a Pollyanna, no—she really is the real deal. You walk the talk, Alyson, and it’s clear you’re invested in helping leaders. Especially with this last book, your goal is to influence, not manipulate.

Kay Miller 00:08:04  
We’re all in positions where we want to influence others—whether we’re making decisions in our personal lives, selling a product or service, or casting a vision. People don’t change because we try to make them; they need to change from within. How do you create that scenario where people want to make a change and see value in it?

Alyson Van Hooser 00:08:49  
When I think about influence, what comes to mind is something I often say—I don’t believe in the concept of a "self-made success." Connection with others is crucial. When you work to see things from someone else’s perspective, you can connect in a way that moves both parties forward in a positive way. One thing I’ve learned is that understanding someone’s story helps you understand their needs and motivations. For me, that’s key to infinite influence.

Alyson Van Hooser 00:09:59  
Writing a book like *Infinite Influence* consumes your life for about six months, and by the time it’s published, you’ve likely evolved in your thinking. Now, I’ve distilled the concepts down even more. The first step is to “see the story,” meaning that people’s experiences shape their desires and goals. When you truly get to know someone’s story, you equip yourself to think like them, and you can approach every interaction thoughtfully instead of shooting from the hip.

Alyson Van Hooser 00:11:18 
It should be planned. And the more you develop this skill of empathy, which is not understanding people, it's you being able to put it into action. The more you develop that, the more it becomes natural and very quick. And I always use the story to illustrate that, you remember the teacher story in that book? Okay. 

Kay Miller 00:11:35
Yes, I sure do. And I love that story, so please share it.

Alyson Van Hooser 00:11:40
I have to give the shortened version of it. But when you talk about in your book The Big Idea, which I think is just absolutely brilliant, I sit there thinking, what have I done that would allow me to check that box? That case is that if I want to be more successful, I need to check. And as I'm thinking back over our business, one of the things that I do before I ever send any message or go in-depth into content is what I call redefining leadership. The big idea is that we need to redefine it like this.

Alyson Van Hooser 00:12:15
Leadership is not position, which means I'm talking about every single one of us showing up and being intentional about how we impact people. That's a big idea. I finished the third part of the definition, saying that leadership is the ability to serve the need and the choice to take action. And I'll play off of something else that you said in your book, which is just amazing for me. You say “stealing genius” in that part of the leadership definition, where I say that leadership is the ability to serve the need. What we know is that way back in the 1900s, servant leadership, especially at work, became incredibly popular. Everybody's talking about it, everybody’s trying to practice it. If I'm in an audience of 2 or 10,000 and I ask, “Who in here believes in servant leadership?” everybody's going to raise their hand. When it comes to stealing genius, I’m looking at people who have been seen as some of the brightest in our world, the biggest thought leaders.

Alyson Van Hooser 00:13:11
And I’m thinking, what are they missing in the future of work? And what I know now, without a doubt, is that good intentions are not good enough. We have to be more focused than ever. What are we focused on? We have to focus on the paramount need—what is absolutely most important to them in the moment. Because once we check that box, they can move on to a lower-level need, which is what you want to accomplish with them. Whether it’s at work, where you want them to engage, or if it's a customer you want to buy, you might have to meet other needs first in order to get there. But you don’t know the next right step if you don’t understand what their paramount needs are.

Kay Miller 00:13:45
Okay, let’s stop right there because I have an offer for you. As you know, Steve and I have written a brand new personal branding book called Uncopyable You, because your personal brand is what sets you apart. I’ve put together a five-part email series called “Building a Profitable Personal Brand,” and it’s totally free.

Kay Miller 00:14:06
It will help you get closer to building and crafting an intentional personal brand that will level up your success. Go to beuncopyable.com/the number five-dash-emails. I’ll put that link in the show notes very quickly.

Alyson Van Hooser 00:14:23
That teacher story. I always say it's a story about a teacher, sure, but it's really a story about a leader. Someone who chose to see the need and take action. Miss Conger, if I could paint a picture of her for you, she’s top three on a good day, crystal blue eyes, curly brown hair. I remember thinking she was so beautiful. I remember thinking her classroom smelled like red Starburst. I remember everything, and I was not worried about herself. She was just showing up, laser-focused on serving people the way they needed to be served before we moved forward together. I always say her paramount need was to be a successful teacher, and in order for her to be a successful teacher, she needed students to learn, grow, and test well.

Alyson Van Hooser 00:15:08
The challenge was, in third grade, I was not showing up to school to learn, grow, and test well. I was showing up to school for free food and safety. I didn’t know if I had dinner at home, we didn’t have enough money, and any place was better than what I knew at home in that environment. So, I’d set an alarm and go to school every day. But I wasn’t paying attention, and I always position that from an influence standpoint. How many people do you interact with, cross paths with, who are no help to you in achieving greater success, and maybe they’re no help to themselves either? And that’s where we start finding our purpose, helping other people where they are. Very simply, Miss Conger got to know my story in a very strategic way. She ended up asking if she could fix my hair for picture day.

Alyson Van Hooser 00:15:56
I said yes. I couldn’t wait. I thought that picture was going to change my life because, back in the day, yearbooks were a reference material. People wanted to know who mattered, who looked pretty, who looked fixed up. I thought it would change my life. But long story short, I ended up messing the hair up. I got to school, and she met me with a big hug. I remember she said, “Oh, Alyson, you look so beautiful,” which was a lie. I knew what I looked like. She laughed later; she didn’t laugh at that moment—we’ll deal with that in another episode. But I remember in that moment thinking my story was that I didn’t have a mom around, nobody was paying attention to me, and I didn’t know if anybody even cared. I was just trying to get by. And when she hugged me in that hallway, I remember thinking, “I wonder if this is love. Wow. Maybe she does care about me.” It wasn’t until she took that action that was unorthodox, that had nothing to do with her job.

Alyson Van Hooser 00:16:51
But I’m standing there, and I thought, “I didn’t think I wanted a family when I grew up, but now I have a husband and four kids.” Quite literally, four more people walk this earth because of the action of one person. The other thing I decided, which is where infinite influence becomes powerful for both parties, is before that interaction, I was no help to her in achieving greater success. But after that, I made a conscious decision: “If she cares about me, I’m going to care about her. I’ll pay attention in class, do my homework, try to be gifted and talented, and make her proud.” And you know what? That was good for me, too, at the end of the day. I’m just a firm believer that when you serve the need and you choose to take the action, whether you feel like you should have to or not, whether you want to, whether someone else should step up, you have the power to change lives.

Alyson Van Hooser 00:17:43
In Miss Conger’s words, she would say, “That’s when all the work is worth it—when you truly make a difference in someone’s life.” I use that to illustrate every single point that we make, whether we’re talking about employee retention, engagement, handling hard conversations, or setting expectations. It’s not really the key to success; the key is your ability to understand people in a diverse workforce. It’s tough, and it takes intentional time, effort, energy, and maybe even organizational restructuring. But the people who do it, they continue to reap success time and again, and I want that for more people. Okay, I probably talked way too much, but there’s a lot to unpack there.

Kay Miller 00:18:28
But, Alyson, you make so many valid points. When I think of your teacher, if she hadn’t made that decision to help you, yes, she was paying attention, but how many times do we have that option, that possibility, to really influence someone, to say kind words, maybe without even knowing it?

Kay Miller 00:18:51
We all have stories. We all have our challenges, ups and downs, so it’s just a great reminder to take advantage of those opportunities. I don’t know if she knows what a difference she made in your life. But if we all did that—you talk about infinite influence—when you influence someone, they influence someone else. There’s a ripple effect. Just hearing those words, “Alyson, you look beautiful”—and you all have to read the book because the story is very comical. By picture day, Alyson had successfully ruined the beautiful hairdo. But it wasn’t about the hairdo; it was about the care that she took and the empathy, like you said. As I said before we recorded, a lot of people say, “Understand what the other person is thinking,” but you take it a step further, which is unique, and say, “Think like the other person is thinking.” And that’s hard to do.

Kay Miller 00:19:59
We all have, and you talked about this, our life experiences and heuristics. But to step out of that and really get into someone else’s head... you know what? As a customer, a buyer, or the person being influenced, we can tell, right? We can tell if it’s genuine.

Alyson Van Hooser - 00:20:21
Such a good point. Yes, absolutely. You make a good point. I go back to that concept of "infinite influence." I didn’t know this when I started writing the book, but there are books on influence that are banned from prisons. Maybe you know that?

Kay Miller - 00:20:34
No, I didn’t know that! Tell me more.

Alyson Van Hooser - 00:20:37
Because although people are incredibly diverse and complex, they can still be understood, which is why I know this "infinite influence" strategy works. It’s worked for my entire life and for my clients; they send me their stories. But because it’s so powerful, I advise people to pay close attention. There’s even a warning page in the book, because choosing to build influence in this way carries a significant responsibility.

Kay Miller - 00:21:05
Yes, I remember you had a big caution sign, saying, "Hey, this is a responsibility." If you choose to make this decision, it will affect people’s lives. And we talked about your personal brand—yours is truly genuine. I love the story you shared about your husband, reading a letter from your father who’s been in and out of rehab, and your husband saying, "I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone as empathetic as you." Empathy is natural to you, and you’ve taken it to the next level, using it in leadership, business, and to impact people personally. That empathy is crucial, and when creating your personal brand, you used the word "intentional." I totally believe in that—don’t just let things happen. Decide who you want to be, like you have, and what you want to imprint on the world.

Kay Miller - 00:22:11
And with four kids, you’re also molding little humans, making that impact on them. That’s so important.

Alyson Van Hooser - 00:22:24
They certainly turn the tables on you sometimes! For me, empathy comes instinctively, but I’ve figured out how to teach others to develop that skill. When it comes to being "uncopyable," you mentioned understanding what unique strengths you possess. I wonder how you assess what you know and what you’re naturally capable of, as there could be a skill unique to you that’s hard for others but comes easily to you. What’s your take on that?

Kay Miller - 00:23:00
I completely agree. I think we often take what’s unique and powerful about ourselves for granted, thinking everyone has those abilities. In teaching, they say you only need to know 10% more than your audience. So analyzing who you are, what makes you uncopyable, and your purpose is the starting point. Authenticity is essential. You can’t fake it; people can sense that. Think of how you want to be treated—it’s the golden rule. You mentioned Dale Carnegie and how he made people feel special. It’s not difficult: listening, showing interest, and empathizing with your target market, or "moose," as you say, is so important. It’s challenging to think like others, especially in today’s political climate, but that’s essential for true influence. Manipulation might work once, but people catch on. I even shared a story in my book about setting clocks 10 minutes ahead to trick my kids, and they figured it out right away. It’s a funny story but represents a bigger principle. So, for our listeners in sales, management, or entrepreneurship, what would be your actionable takeaway?

Alyson Van Hooser - 00:25:35
If you’re thinking about what you have to do today or even three months from now, ask yourself how you want to influence others. Maybe you want someone to stop or start doing something. When you’re at a crossroads, stop and consider the other person’s perspective. If someone thinks differently than you, politically or otherwise, pause and ask, “What experiences shaped this belief?” Start building a knowledge base about them, asking questions over time to genuinely understand them. This is the only time I say "leaders speak first." Share a story about how you’ve handled similar situations, then invite them to share theirs. You’ll learn if they need a more direct approach or a gentle one. So, whenever you want to influence someone, stop, understand their story, and act based on what they need to move forward, not what you would want.

Kay Miller - 00:28:11
That’s a fantastic point! We all have unique stories, and nobody else has our exact experiences. Taking the time to understand that helps people feel valued and lets you connect genuinely. True influence is granted by the person you’re influencing, which distinguishes it from manipulation. I highly recommend people get to know Alyson through her books. I’ll add links to connect with her and share her website in the show notes. Alyson, you’re truly special.

Alyson Van Hooser - 00:29:36
I appreciate you, Kay, and wish you and your listeners incredible success.

Outro
Thanks for listening to this episode of Unstoppable Women in Business. If you enjoyed the show, please like, share, rate, and review it on your favorite platform. See you next time, and always remember to be unstoppable.