Episode 169 | How to Be the Hero of Your Own Life with Viki King

In this conversation, Viki shares her remarkable journey from being the first female crew member on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson to guiding others in discovering their own inner voice. She discusses what it means to thrive rather than simply survive, how humor can transform challenges, and why every person carries a unique genius made up of their own blend of talents. We explore her perspective on fear, freedom, and creativity, and how her writing serves as a mirror for readers to reflect on their own lives. At 80 years old, Viki continues to model what it means to live authentically, fully, and with courage.

Viki King is a bestselling author, Hollywood screenwriter, and transformational consultant whose work has influenced writers, executives, athletes, and creatives around the world. Best known for her classic book How to Write a Movie in 21 Days: The Inner Movie Method, Viki has also written for television favorites including Three’s Company and Hart to Hart. Her newest book, How to Be the Hero of Your Own Life, blends memoir with empowering lessons on purpose, resilience, and reinvention.

Resources:

Website

LinkedIn

Books:

How to Be the Hero of Your Own Life
How to Write a Movie in 21 Days

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Transcript

 Vicki is a bestselling author, Hollywood screenwriter and transformational consultant, known for her groundbreaking book, how to Write a Movie in 21 Days, the Inner Movie Method. A pioneer in the entertainment industry. Vicki has written for TV hits like Three's Company, and Heart to Heart, love both of those.

And her work has influenced writers, executives, athletes, and creatives around the globe. Her newest book, how to Be The Hero of Your Own Life, blends Personal memoir with Empowering Life, lessons on Purpose, resilience and reinvention. Vicki is a sought after speaker and mentor known for helping people connect deeply with their inner voice and tell the story only they can tell.

She lives by the belief that you are the hero of your own life. Vicki, welcome to the show. Thank you. Kay. Aren't you wonderful too? I'm so excited to talk to you. I know you a little bit better than some of my guests. Shout out to Terry Murphy for connecting us, and when I learned about you, I of course had to get that book, how to be the Hero of Your Own Life.

Uh, I was just showing you, Vicki, how many dog years there were and highlights and things that really spoke to me. It's really impacted my life. And, and maybe that seems a little dramatic, but it's true. And so I, I hope you're very proud of and satisfied, I guess, about the fact that you are really changing lives.

Yeah. So, Vicki, I would like to start with your background and your take on how you got to be where you are today. Oh, I got to be where I am. One step at a time, I guess, one step at a time. So, but you have an unique and interesting background. There's so much to cover. So here's the deal.

Everybody's already who they are. It's like you don't have to get any place. It's not a huge journey to become yourself because you already are yourself and the, and you're becoming more and more and more by the evidence of living it each day. So that's, that's what happens. It's an inside job and it, it emerges you out, you know, in a bloom.

You bloom out that way rather than, oh, there I am over there and I gotta get, you know, pass them out. It's not really that way. But you are, boy, you just have such a different attitude about life than anyone I've ever met. Let's start with the fact that, I'm gonna go back to the fact that you were the first female sound engineer, right?

For the Johnny Carson show. Cameraman and, yeah. Crew. The first crew. Oh, uh, as a female. Yes. And then you went on to all kinds of roles in Hollywood and elsewhere. Uh, what are some of the highlights that, that come to mind and in your life? The highlights that come to mind in my life, sunsets, every sunset.

The highlights. I think it's, it's a choice on our part in every moment. What the life that we're having that moment. And then there's the next to the next. You just, you just build it. You build it from where you are. So highlights is like every, every moment is a highlight to the next moment.

And you really do live that, even the bad things of course, or perceived as bad. I mean, you lost everything in a fire at one point. And talk about your attitude about that. 'cause I think that's a good kind of microcosm of your attitude. You know, it's a really good thing. If anybody, and I experienced it was in the wildfire in Malibu and the, uh, many people lost everything, but they spent their life amassing the stuff.

And I mean, stuff you can always get, but it's pretty difficult if somebody has that as their meaning of their life. I'm glad I never had that. And, you know, then I didn't have clutter after that because it was all burned down. And it's worth noting that this book, you've wr been written writing your whole life.

Yeah. You really, I read that you said that was your purpose, your ultimate purpose in life is to write this book. Yes. Is that how you feel? Yes. Yes. I came in to do it and I was writing it from, since I was a little kid and I thought I'd be finished at 20, that was my plan. Oh, I'm gonna put this out at 20.

And then it would be a platform so that then I could help people because they would have seen the platform. So the book at 20 told me you have to live an entire span of lifetime and then put it out at the other end. Well, now I'm at the other end and I'm 80 and the book is out now. And that's correct.

It was supposed to be that, but I, I was I didn't mind writing it my whole life, but I was surprised that I was gonna be living a long life. I thought I'd be finish it and be out of here, but no, I 80. And from what you said in the book, you're okay with that. This is a, you're excited for the next step, whatever that is.

Obviously, we don't know exactly what that's gonna look like. It's a full-time job to be 80. Ask anybody who is 80 and they'll tell you that. And some are doing a good job of it, and some maybe not so much. But it, uh, it requires, and for all of us, if you'll notice, it requires your full cho uh, choice and decision point and creation of how you want to make it up as you go along from wherever you are.

You know, and at any place you can sit on the curb and say, that's enough. I've had enough, or whatever way you want to play it, there's a line in there one after, uh, something that, uh, violently happened for me, to me, whatever. And I, it, I say, um, did I, uh, did I forget to be mortified or did I just choose not to be victimized?

And so I think that's a, a rallying call for anybody in their life to make those choices in themselves. I'm really struck by the fact that you seem to me the ultimate free spirit, and you can correct me if you don't see it that way. And yet you are so accomplished, really. You have been involved in huge projects with Hollywood and, and met some really famous.

People, even when you were young, I don't know if you just, what you've attracted into your life, but it's just such a unique experience. It's so hard to sum all of this up. And I know you talked about being willing to read part of your book to us, and I would love to have you either read the book or first tell us how do you feel like this has all come together, you being a free spirit and an adventurer, and yet accomplishing things that not very many people have accomplished?

I think that everybody comes in with at least one talent, and generally it's, it's two in particular that kind of, um, pull at one another something that I have, yes, I'm free spirit. I, you know, I. And I have no problem with thinking. Forget about a box. You know, there's no box.

You just think however way you want to in a creative way. But I also have very practical feet on the ground. I have that combination, and that's always held me in good stead to be able to do it. Like, for instance, this book, I had to self-fund the project, so I did, and then I made choices about that.

You know, everything I, you know, talk to me about any bargain that you ever wanna get, because I know how to do that. I know how to live richly but not have to pay so much for it. Because I had to, because I needed to put other things in there. Like for instance, I don't have children. You know, if I had children, then that would require another level of my energies and money and such that would not be what the plan that I had for my life.

So everybody, I think that's what genius is, is you come in and you have the combination of those two or three quirky, wonderful talents that all seemingly don't fit together. And then you have to find the way to work it out, to put them together. And that's your genius that you offer to the world. You the one and only one that has a combination like that, and you look at your, in your, in your wonderful hat next to the moose.

I mean, it's just fabulous. It's fabulous. And so there you are. There's Kay. And then that's what you bring to the, to the contribution of the, to the world. And it's, you know, it's, everybody's got a piece of the puzzle for the big picture. If you don't show up with your puzzle, there's a big hole in the big picture.

So

And be the thing that you're wanting to give the world. I think that's great advice for everyone listening. As I said, this is not about me, it's about you and it's about the listener. And yes, we all have a part to play and it's what Grand Symphony of life.

We're all unique, we're all incapable. And I am wondering, I remember you said at age 30 you were a little bit lost. Is that correct? And you kind of had to, what, what, what created that sense of direction at that point? At 30, I, I already had the direction then. I don't know. What do you mean? Oh, I, I was gonna because the sales thing you were, we were gonna, I was gonna read this.

It's just a half a page. It's, um, if anybody is listening and you're a sales person and you're pitching, and you, you know, you hope so much to sell the thing. Uh, so this is one that happened for me in Hollywood 13 suits. I had a pitch meeting with 13 executives from the network, from upper management, from New York, from where the cash is 13 suits all in the room to make a deal with me.

I was brilliant and we all knew it. All they had to do was say yes, and we all knew it. All 13 were laughing and alive and inspired by my presentation. I thought, this is going good, but nothing happens until it does. They said thank you. You'll be hearing from us. As I left the room, I dropped my bond mug pen, bought at a bargain and bent down to pick it up and I heard what they were saying through the door.

She's a talent. Never seen anything like it. One in a million, they all muttered agreement and then the head suit said, I didn't know whether to laugh at her jokes or look down her blouse. He was saying this as though it was a positive statement. Is that it? I'm being, am I being female? Confuses them.

Chauvinism will not stop me. So it doesn't have to stop them either. Maybe they could use a little help to sort this out. So I say through the door, hello, this is God, hire her. Ps notice that God's voice is female. So you know everybody who has a gizmo that walks into the door, if you happen to be a female and they happen to be, uh, uh, you know, a lot of men deciding whether they're going to buy your gizmo or not you, you might notice that you are all on display too often, and, uh, so you wanna find a way to work with that so that it is in your favor.

One thing I love about your book, we talked about I love humor. I'm working consciously to integrate humor more in my work. You have so much humor in this book and you listening maybe I, I need to say it. I haven't said it out loud. You have got to read this book. I really feel like it's impacted me more than another book I can think of.

Although there's so many books out there. I, I told you I just read, let Them by a male Robbins, excellent book and. You know, I'm, I haven't been a great reader in the last I don't know how many years, and I read a lot of business books these kinds of books like yours. Your story is so inspiring and it's just, you're just an interesting mix.

Just what you described. There was a lightness, a humor something like you described happens to women. The first job I ever had, I was the only woman, and the first sales meeting I sat through, they were showing cabinet hardware on the overhead projector. Maybe some people listening won't, don't know what that is, and every maybe 10 slides or so, there was a picture of a topless woman.

That there is such a different culture back then, and I'm not saying it doesn't ever happen. It's better maybe or different, uh, but sometimes you just have to have a sense of humor or, you know, I thought at that time I thought I can either fight this and go to HR and, you know, make a big deal of this, or I can show 'em, I can play with the big boys and I can beat them at their own game.

So I like the way you've really approached a lot of challenges like that. It's just so hard to describe what's in this book because it's your whole life, which has been amazing. But, well, the point of it is that, that you can open it to any chapter, which is the, chapter 12 is, cha is age 12, and you can read.

Ostensibly what's going on with my life? But that's not the point. The point is you are reflecting on your life. What was I doing when I was 12? And you can begin to start seeing if there's anything left over from your past about, let's see, there's a chapter when I was six years old, about what to do about the, the bully.

And, you know, did you have a bully in your life or were you the bully? Or is there a bully presently in your life? And so then you begin to start cleaning out the junk drawer of all these emotions that you don't need to have anymore. Just because you're reflecting on it as you're reading my, my stories.

I think a lot of us do forget, or I don't know if that's the right way to put it, forget to be introspective. We just kind of get into the motion of living and what's happening and when do I have to get to my hair appointment or, or at whatever. And we don't really think about those things you do. And yet your history.

I wanna talk about how did you get in connected with all these Hollywood people and, and get to be? Well, I was in Hollywood. I, came on the train and, and started. I didn't know anybody. And, but how did you get to know them? How did you make, how did you, what were the inroads that you, that got you to beat the people?

Just like that. Just like that, that, uh, meeting, just like any of the meetings, you just go, you just keep going and you just keep building it and making it up and you don't know. I mean, I didn't, I didn't know how to do it. So then I, that's how I did it. If you know how to do it, you would do it maybe the way you thought you'd know how to do it.

I didn't know. So I just kept building, building, building along the way. Would you describe yourself as a gutsy person? Yes. Okay. There's short answer, and that to me shines a big light on what you're talking about, because when you read the book, it's so, I don't know, I'm gonna say woo woo. Because you do look at things in a way that, that isn't co con concrete.

Are you offended by that term? Do you think it fits? Yes. You're offend. Okay. So how do you describe it? Yeah, because the usually the thing that people are referring to when they say that word it's very powerful. It's very dynamic and makes all the difference in the whole wide world for your, your trajectory in life.

So if you dismiss it. And stay in a na uh, the nature of powerlessness, then it doesn't do you any good. So I always you know, think that best and highest choice for anybody is go. Fear. Fear is something quite interesting for people is fear is nothing more than to just be bigger than it.

When you see fear coming on you, then what can you do that makes you bigger than what that has been to stop you? And you know, and that's how you move forward. I mean, you want that, you, you wanna value that. You don't wanna value fear and make it stop you. Do you? Exactly. Not exactly not. And, and I shared a story with you and, and before I share the snippet of that story, I also wanna say you are so.

Positive about other people when we met. I just feel like you treated me like I am so special, which I am so special. But you are Well, you're adorable. Look at you. Look at me. Thank you. I'm gonna own it. I usually say, oh no. Oh, no. But I know that you treat everyone like that. I, I assume, or unless you see something in me that you don't see in others, but everybody listening, we all have that something special.

And Vicki, you really bring that out of people. As you said, your book has a lot of stories about you, but it really is about the reader. Reader. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever you read, what, what, wherever you read. And it, it's, um, it's encoded in such a way that it's a rar shock, in other words, because my life is completely different than anybody else's.

As is yours. Everybody's life completely different. But if you read something with particular points along the way that you hit in a different manner, when you live through that age it will harken back and bring everything back to you in such a way that then it's enriching and you can relive it and release it.

Mainly there's a lot of release that can go on with people, if they, if they've, if they're very, very good at surviving, they're gonna have to find a way along about in their thirties how they're gonna drop the surviving and pick up thriving. And it's a, it's an actual turn of your maturation, you know, at that time in your life.

And so just read the story about from surviving to thriving, and suddenly it begins to shift within you. You can reach and find surviving tool, uh, thriving tools, uh, much easier that way. And of course, you have had many challenges through your life. I love that you just dropped that Rorschach concept, the Rorschach test.

And I don't know that everyone listening, you listening, do you know what that is? But that is, uh, it's almost like an ink blot, right? Do they just put some ink on the page and fold it or something? It's really kind of a random, it's a random image of spill ink. Then, uh, people make a point of it. What is the meaning of this?

Is this a butterfly? Is this a, you know, a splat on the, on a paper? Is this a footprint? Is this, you know, is this, um, the, you know, the deep, uh, forest, uh, and the, you know, and the, and the father leaves the children and runs away, so it gives, the meaning is evoked from within you and, you know, gives you the story that you've been carrying around with you.

So we are all looking at the same world in a way. We look outside ourselves, and maybe we're looking at the same things like the Rorschach, but we're all seeing something totally different. Yes. Yes. And I think that is so, you know, with your, with your, um, people who are listening, possibly some want, you know, you give, you give them such good information about sales.

And many are op as you was telling me, that they're opening up their, their businesses and starting their business. There's a burning desire inside. What is it? What is it that thing that you wanna bring forward to the marketplace? What is, what is it that, that you wanna express about yourself that you couldn't in the corporate world?

What is that? That driving force, that excitement that pulls you from the inside out. And that's the thing that you want to paint on the outside of yourself. And make that your reality. Make that the thing that is what, um, what you're presenting and having in, in yourself. So that's exciting stuff.

I think that we all want to impact the world, and I have always seen sales as helping instead of selling, helping. Nobody likes to sell. But if you think of it as helping,    early in my career I was, it was my first sales job actually, and I went into my distributor. I was selling through distributors and their retail sales were down.

And so I went out to the stores and I realized, well, the reason the sales are down is that the displays in these stores were in horrible shape. They're dusty, and the shelves were sagging. And I thought, well, who's gonna buy? Decorative cabinet hardware from something like that. So, went to my distributor.

Long story, somewhat short, uh, went out to all those retailers with Windex and a screwdriver, and sat on the floors and redid all those shelves. So the result of that was that I helped those retailers make more sails. I helped my distributor make more sales, and of course, I helped myself make more sales.

Well, at the end of that project, the buyer, the distributor buyer called me in his office and he said, you know how you've been talking about wanting to go to Europe? You know, I'd never been. I really wanted to go. I'd shared that with him and he said, well, I have something for you. And he gave me a check to cover my airline ticket.

Oh, talk about a win-win relationship. So as you're just like, you want to help people, um, anyone listening, we want to help other people. And you can do that through sales, you can do that through business, you can do that through life. But that story just came to me, I forgot I'd forgotten about it until I started putting my program together and saying, how can we look at sales differently and not, as, you know, pushy or being aggressive or just thinking, I gotta make my sales goal.

How can I help someone get what they can? But also using your dexterities. I mean, you know how to use Windex and you know how to dust, and you fellow, you've got skills. I've got skills. I know. Use that skills girl. And that's, that's what it takes for you to then go within and understand the value of every skill you have and the value also of something that maybe you would like to do, but you don't feel like you yet know how to dust.

You know? And then you would do it, but nobody else on the sales you know, team thought of such a thing because nobody else has the propensity for, spraying their, their windex. Always, always, you want to utilize your whole, you know, bag of talents at all, you know, all times. Because that's what it's there for.

And it makes a point to you listening that probably you have the, the talent to use Windex, but how do you use that talent? You know, how do you use that to make that talent bigger, to impact the world and also to be successful? Bottom line, we all, if we're in business, we gotta make money. We like to pay our bills.

We like to, as you do, live on the ocean with a wonderful view. You like to travel all over the world, so you use your talents, but you have used them in a way that's benefited others and yourself. You know, some of my travel, I mean, I really believe in you get you get invited to speak or in your, in, to sell to whatever it is you get invited for business.

And, uh, you get handlers and you get cash money to take home with you. So you're traveling, you're not paying for it, and then you're, you, you know you're earning money and you know, too. So do it that way. That's really good way to do it. And, and you were wonderful. They have handlers. They're so dear. In China I had like six oh.

Miss and I, they still email me all the time. Advice for advice with boys and such. Yeah, it's wonderful. So you're being paid to do what you love. Be paid to do what you love. Yes. Why not? Why not? You wanna you want, you don't wanna be paid to do what you don't love. You don't wanna do what you don't love.

So do what you love. Be paid for that, but don't do. I'm gonna say something here. Don't do something for money. Don't do something for money. Do something because that's your offering in the world. Do something because you want to do something. 'cause it's exciting. Do something that would help somebody.

And then you'll see that it, the circle goes around and you have abundance because of that. But if you do something from money, it's never enough. You notice that. Never enough. And it, and you told a story in your book about that, that someone you talked to, I think you were at the pool and he, you said, well, you're working, you're already earning seven figures.

Do you wanna briefly recount that story? He, uh, he said, uh, he said he had to quit his job 'cause he couldn't, couldn't have it anymore. And he was earning 750,000. This was a long time ago. So that was a lot of money at the time, still a lot of money. And I said, well, how much money do you need if you to quit?

And he said. I want your life how you have it. And I said I don't have to have that much money to, to have my life. And so I taught him how to have a life that seemingly, you know, looked in a certain way. But you don't have to have all that. There's no need for, for, you can have a Rolex watch yes, if you want that, but some other watch tells just as good a time or you don't even need to know what time it is because you don't have a job anymore.

Things like that. So you'd be amazed at how costly it is to keep yourself in work, because you have to do, you have to take care of other things in different manner. You know, he needed a cook. Um, he needed, um, you know, a valet. He needed, things because he was so busy, but when he wasn't so busy, he didn't need those things.

You have such a creative and unique perspective on life, I highly encourage you listening to get Vicky's book how to be the Hero of your own Life. What could be better than that? And my next book that I've on I have on order is How to Write a movie in 21 Days, the Inner Movie Method. And as you pointed out, Vicki, it doesn't mean I have to write a movie that's gonna be on the screen.

It it, it helps you to have the action and adventure of your own life. You know that. And here's a good book. This is Case Book. Oh, can you see that? Yeah. Yes I can. And a lot of people will be listening, but she's holding up a fantastic book, uncapable Sales Secrets that I wrote talking about a lot of these concept, well not Vicky's concept, but what I've talked about that we both agree on of using sales to help people and not just sell them.

And, you know, a good one is now you have the picture of your, the moose in at, in your house there, um, in your office. And the whole idea is that, you don't follow the little, um, falling fruit on the low branches of the tree. Go for the, the moose, go for the top primo place. That can be the best and highest impact that you can have to someone in what you have to sell.

And then also that it has the best impact in on you that you sold it. Be very mindful. And of course this goes back to prospecting, which is the, of course, the buzzword, which we have to do in sales. But instead of just willy-nilly prospecting, really decide who you can serve the best, who will see the value in what you sell.

Vicki, I have just loved, not only talking with you on the podcast, but getting to know you. You've had a big impact on my life and just really a few short conversations, so I appreciate that so much. How would people, I appreciate you too. Kay. You know, look at her. She's adorable. I appreciate that. I really do.

How would people, uh, learn more about you? Um, I'm of course ordering the books. What would you like people to do next after they hear this show? I can go to my website, which is viki king.com. And it's V-I-K-I-K-I-N g.com. Yep. All ks V-I-K-I-K-I-N-G. You can, and then it's, um, also, um, yeah, they can go there.

Or look Vicki up. I just, you know, we talked about ai, but I asked ai, who is Vicki King, author of, you know, the big seller? I mean, this has been a classic of how to write a movie in 21 days. So it's easy to find information on Vicki. Uh, you'll be better for, uh, the experience of being exposed to, uh, her wisdom.

Uh, so I wanna end by just thanking you so much. I really appreciate our, uh, now I consider you a friend and for being on the show. Thank you so much. Thank you, Kay. And we look forward to, how you're gonna, what's, what's next for Kay? What's next for all of us? Yeah. What's next for all of us? What's next for all of us?

Exciting stuff.

Okay. Well, you